Alone. This is how Gavin Peterson found himself when he awoke atop a barren skyscraper in an unfamiliar city. He had no memory of how he had arrived here.

The sweet, sweet horror...

The greatest hell is the one we can most easily conceive.

The titular question was asked of me by a friend. It was a reasonable question as he was the recipient of several Snapchats of Hank Scorpio.

A man is on fire. This is spotted by a second man, Todd.

Grounded For Life was fucking awesome.

They call it sparkling natural mineral water. I dispute most of this in the following rambling. Take note Mr Ballygowan.

When I was a kid I was a kid. That may seem tautologous, but I can also equally say that when I was a kid I wasn’t a kid. These two statements are separated by a line – a metaphorical one, like a point on a number line. Though this number line would be one of dates. A date line, if you will. A point on a date line. A date. April 1st 1995.

Cookies are absolutely amazing. When I say cookies, just to clear things up, I do mean actual cookies. Not the American term for biscuit, but one hundred percent actual cookies.

A letter sent to Nestlé Ireland in 2005. No reply has been received to date.