I was late. Damn late. My bus had broken down on the way and I was a good twenty minutes late for the surprise party. Surprise! Of course, I couldn’t even head straight there once I got into town; I had to go to the ATM.

Daniel stood on the edge of the pool. He looked down into the water. The deep end. He had had a fear of swimming since he was a child. It was all due to a horrible accident in the bath that he could now only vaguely remember, but was happy about that lack of detail.

Trevor Apple and his beautiful wife Zoe lived in one of the nicest trees of the orchard. They had been married nearly two years and everyday together had been bliss. Zoe was expecting their first child and neither could have been happier.

My life has so far been normal. I grew up with a good family, did well in school and moved on to college to do less well, but get more drunk. Quite drunk actually. I find that any good degree should also list the amount of alcohol consumed during the period of study for it.

A novelization of the scifi epic about three men, two puppets and a gerbil.

It was a fine Easter Monday morning when Gary Coleman stepped off his plane in Dublin Airport. His flight from JFK was long and baby-filled. The full Irish breakfast he was provided left him wanting just that little bit more, but he was unwilling to pay nearly ten dollars for a second breakfast.

Little Johnny awoke one fine July morning. It was a Tuesday and the first thing that popped into Johnny’s mind was school. The fifth thing was that it was the summer holidays and thus, no school. The other three things are unimportant and deal mainly with a slight obsession Johnny houses towards armchairs.

The lackey never told me his name. In my head I just called him Mr David. This Mr David may have been less burly than his associates but he was tough - like a mosquito.

It was a dark, stormy night. Mr. Whippy's fleet was asleep in the yard, getting soaked by heavy rain. His flagtruck, the 99, was tucked away under a canopy.

Eddy awoke one morning at 8am. He didn't like early mornings and 8am was as early as mornings came, at least as far as Eddy knew. Eddy was a simple man... sorry, scratch that. Eddy was a simple pen.