OK, so you start off at Yoshi's House. Who the fuck is Yoshi and why the christ is his house a bunch of trees and shit? Don't go near this place just move onto the monkeyfucking goodness of Yoshi's Island 2 (Who the fuck is this Yoshi? And why the fuck am I starting on Yoshi's Island 2!) So go through the bastard of a level and keep smashing your fucking head off those boxes with question marks and shit. Soon you'll smash your head and some egg will appear and crap. Then the motherfucking egg will hatch and a dinosaur comes out of it. That's right, a motherfucking dinosaur son of a bitch! So this prick's Yoshi then? Run through the rest of this shitting level and you're done.
So now you're on Yoshi's Island 3 (Where the fuck did 1 go!!!) and you can find a flower and shit that lets you shoot cocksucking fireballs at people, fucking fireballs!!! Get the fuck out of this shit level and onto Yoshi's Island 4 where you have to swim and shit with your dinosaur bitch. Then you're onto some shit called Iggy's Castle. Iggy? What the fuck happened to Yoshi? Why does this asshole have a castle on Yoshi's Island? Even worse your pussy of a dinosaur won't go into the fucking castle with you, that chickenshit piece of bastard!
You have to go through the castle with lava and fences and shit like that and then giant motherfucking wooden shit things try to crush you. After all that bollocks you have to fight some whiney bitch called Iggy. Knock that prick into the motherfucking lava and then you get to blow up his motherfucking castle and shit. Then you get off that piece of shit Yoshi's Island and onto Donut Plains 1, man am I fucking hungry.
Firstly, ditch that pussy dinosaur of yours since the bitch is too scared to go into a fucking castle with you. Then knock the shit out of that weird dog thing with the flashing cape and you get a feather. A feather that gives you a cape and shit. A cape that let's you fly. That's right, you can motherfucking fly you prick! Fly across the whole fucking level giving those turtles and shit the finger. Don't go through the pussy's exit, you can fucking fly now, go up and find the key to a dogfucking secret exit and cock!
Now you're on Donut Secret 1 and crap, it's a big secret you bastard! But you're under the motherfucking water and not drowning, this Mario is no fucking bitch. Cock you oxygen! Swim halfway through the level and find the motherfucking secret exit again and now you're at the Donut Secret House. Sounds fun? Well you're wrong you fucking prick, it's a ghost house and shit! It's a fucking labyrinth and shit but no David Bowie. Find the secret vine shit and get the fuck out that ghost door. But then you have to fight a big fucking ghost that can turn invisible and christ!
After you kill that pussy ghost you get to go to the motherfucking Star Road in outer space and shit! Go to the motherfucking secret exit on the right side of all those blocks and crap. Go to Star Road 2 and get your motherfucking blue dinosaur, let's hope he's not a pussy like the last one. Go to the prick of a secret exit under the pussy exit and away from all those bastard fish. Then on Star Road 3 knock that cunt out of his cloud and hijack that shit to fly up to the secret exit, but they won't let you take the fucking cloud with you.
Use your motherfucking blue dinosaur to grow wings and fly to the fucking secret exit in Star Road 4 and then you get to the motherfucking last level of the game! Go to door 2 and then to door 8 and then get past all of the fucking ninja bunnies and shit and fight that prick Bowser. The dumb shit actually gives you the things you need to fuck him up, but he tries to kill you with fucking marbles and shit. Kick his ass and get your woman back from him and go do her back in Yoshi's House. The fucking end.