There is a truth in this world that everyone knows to be true. That's why it's a truth. That truth is that there are superheroes. People with secret identities and superpowers who protect the innocent from danger. These superheroes have personal lives too. When they're not fighting crime or supporting stem cell research they're reading the newspaper, writing the newspaper and sleeping on a bench wrapped up in newspaper. One of these superheroes could be your best friend and you wouldn't know it. That's why this handy guide will help you identify any potential streaks of superheroism in your compadres.
Do they wear glasses?
It's a known fact that nine out of every ten superheroes wear glasses as part of their disguise. Other possible signs of disguise include hair gel, nerdiness, comfortable pants and denim wallets. If any of your friends have any of those attributes you may wish to investigate more closely.
Do they disappear at the strangest times?
Some little scumbag nabs a woman's purse on the street. You turn to comment to your friend but find they're gone. They re-emerge five minutes later, after the woman's purse has been returned to her by Lieutenant Justice, protector of fashionable accessories. A little coincidental, no?
Are they good at poker?
Many superheroes are gifted with x-ray vision. In a game of Texas hold 'em she could use this ability to see your pocket kings and decide to call you with her straight off the flop. Since she's already hiding her identity she's a natural bluffer and you lose badly. The fact that you lost with pocket kings just hurts even more. That bastard! Abusing her powers!
Do they fear something harmless?
Most superheroes have a weakness that they try to hide from their foes. Normally their weakness is something that has no effect on anyone else but could kill them. For instance, Bar Man, protector of all metal bars and to a lesser extent wooden rods, has a weakness Nougat. A sufficient amount could kill him in seconds. For example, a Toblerone might make him weak and unable to fight but a Basset's Soft Nougat bar would kill him easily.
Are you routinely kidnapped by supervilains?
While superheroes try to keep their identity hidden it sometimes gets out. This is very damaging when supervilains get the information and decide to kidnap the superhero's friends, friends who may not know that their buddy fights evil in their spare time. If this happens to you a lot, one of your pals may be a defender of the people.
Do they eat a lot of Milkybars?
In the past Nestlé have been accused of committing atrocious acts in third world countries, but this changed once superhero the Milkybar Kid took over the company. As one of the head honchos in the superheroes council the Milkybar Kid began to distribute free Milkybars to all members of the council. The white chocolaty goodness aids in the battle against the dark, bitter chocolate of evil.