Coming in a disappointing tenth is Wednesday. Its low ranking is due to the difficulty in the spelling of the word, since it is pronounced differently to how it's written. Some people, however, prefer to pronounce the word as it is written. This is illegal in all Scandinavian counties and punishable with a day in the stocks wearing only a tutu. The law is hardly used though, as most Scandinavians don't speak English in their daily lives.
The name of Tuesday was derived from the Olde English holiday Chooseday, where an upperclassman was allowed to go into the village and choose a commoner to beat with a sack of potatoes for the next week. The tradition is continued to this day and is now known as "Fox Hunting". Another little known fact is Jesus ascended to heaven on a Tuesday, that being the first ever Easter Sunday.
8. The Sabbath
The Sabbath, or "Day of boredom in church", was actually a separate day of the week until 1765 when Pope Gregory IV declared that Sunday and the Sabbath be combined, purely on a whim. There was much outcry over the loss of the third day of the weekend, but using his special Pope powers the Pope was able to calm the raging masses. George Washington was born on the Sabbath but did not want to give up his birthday and thus the Sabbath remained a day of the week in America until his death in 1899.
This day has a magical quality to it, given that only readers of The Funday Times, published within The Sunday Times, can experience the day each week. When one completes their read of The Funday Times they are brought to the land of Funday, while the rest of the world remains frozen in time. The land of Funday includes attractions such as the river of pure, melted butter, the library and the infinite pile of money. The 1961 Treaty of Fundayia prevents any one country from claiming rights to any part of the land of Funday, though Italy have a considerable army in the northern region of the land.
Thursday, or to give it the correct name Thor's Day, was created by none other than Thor himself using his mighty hammer Mjollnir. Thor created the day so that he may be worshipped but the meaning of the day was lost when Thor died from food poisoning. One of the greatest unnoticed facts of the world is that lightning only ever occurs on a Thursday, thanks to our god of thunder. Praise Thor!
The modern Sunday is a combination of the classic Sunday and the Sabbath. The classic Sunday was given that name in 1254 when Gandalf the Grey gazed into the sky while smoking some of his weed and burned his retinas looking at the sun. The powerful wizard demanded that his loss be remembered and forced the people of Middle, Top and Bottom Earth to change the day's name. Then, for the laugh, he made them all forget he was blind and used his sonar-like wizard hearing to live on. According to the Mayan calendar the world will end on a Sunday, but they never took leap years into account.
Monday is a very lucky day to be with us today. In the eighties the Boomtown Rats attempted an assassination on the day, but just failed due to their publicising their plans heavily in the song "Tell Me Why I Don't Like Mondays". Monday spent two years in recovery but was released in time for Band-Aid, where the day made up with Bob Geldof. In France Monday, or Mon Day, is the day of the week where the French people think of nobody but themselves. So, no different than any other day, am I right? [insert comical drums]
3. Groundhog Day
Groundhog Day occurred several thousand times during the nineties, all together between a Tuesday and Wednesday. Bill Murray was the only person who remembered each day and decided to make a movie about it. Bill Murray was the only person who remembered each day and decided to make a movie about it. Bill Murray was the only person who remembered each day and decided to make a movie about it. Bill Murray was the only person who remembered each day and decided to make a movie about it. Bill Murray was the only person who remembered each day and decided to make a movie about it. Bill Murray was the only person who remembered each day and decided to make a movie about it.
Saturday was the last day of the week to be named. In 1969 on the day of the first moon-landing Buzz "Edward" Aldrin was given the honour of naming the day, since Neil Armstrong got the longest straw. Buzz decided he would name it after their destination, which he unfortunately thought was Saturn. Michael Collins tried to tell him from the moon orbiter, but Buzz couldn't understand his Irish accent, especially given that he was reanimated after his assassination in Cork. Saturday is also famous being the only day to not contain any vowels.
I'm so excited, and I just can't hide it. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know I want to, I want to... make Friday Steve Higginson's Number One Day of the Week! Friday was actually the first day... ever. It is the day that the Big Bang took place, the day the Earth was formed and the day Cheers first aired. This trifectia of events caused temporal echoes which destroyed many TVs of people watching the first episode of Cheers and sent some of Ted Danson's DNA back to the beginning of the Earth, a possible cause for life as we know it. A definite good choice for Number One!