The Power to Move You

What is the best superpower to have? That is a question man has asked since the beginning of time – the 1920s. Many special people over the years have been given superpowers: Clark Kent, Peter Parker, Don Wiltington. However, were these the best powers that one can have? That is the question that will be now discussed. Well, the potential answers will be discussed rather than the question.

The Power of Flight

Sure, this seems like a good idea on the surface, being able to fly through the air like a bird and see the world below from above (as opposed to seeing the world below from below, which doesn't make much sense) and travel without the need for roads, paths, canals or spice routes, but have you ever thought of the logistics behind it? How fast would you travel? Do you think you're going to be going much faster than walking pace? How exactly do you fly? Do you flap your arms? Surely it must use your energy, thermodynamics and all that. What if you got really tired in mid-air and fainted? What if you didn't see the electrical power lines you're flying towards?

The Power of Invisibility

OK, so you're now invisible. You can sneak into the women's changing rooms and all that other really weird stuff Kevin Bacon did in Hollow Man. Of course, are you always invisible or can you turn it on and off? Do your clothes become invisible or just you? You might want to rob some delicious peanut Lion bars from the local petrol station but will the staff not see the stunningly beautiful chocolate bar float away and automatically think "Oh no, we're got an invisible man!" and run for the bags of flour to pour them over your transparent body? Think about it.

The Power of X-Ray Vision

Wow, you can see through things because you've got the highly sought after x-ray vision! Now you can go to the nude beach and look at all the attractive people's internal organs. You can see what cards everyone has in poker. You can see which toy is in the box of Coco Pops. You can see if your leg is broken or just sprained after screwing up a base jump. Of course, how exactly do you determine how far through something you look? Can you adjust the frequency of the x-rays that are being emitted from your eyes? Are you eyes lead shielded or will you be looking into getting a tumour removed from your brain in five years?

The Power of Attorney

That's right, with this marvellous power you have the ability to decide if someone should live or die. This isn't the regular kind that a loved one grants you, this applies to everyone. A simple thumbs down will cause the person to die within five minutes under hilarious circumstances. No super villain could stop you, unless of course, they gained control of your arms. They could make you give yourself the thumbs down! In your last five minutes there'd be nothing left to do except the meaning of Green Day's song Long View.

The Power of Mind Lightning

Nobody can stop you with mind lightning, the power to both make lightning with your mind and make regular lightning strike the minds of others. You could be the ultimate super villain, knocking out Captain Attorney and having him give himself the thumbs down. You could break into a shop and rob all of their Tracker bars (Just the chocolate ones, not the roasted nut) and a couple of stamps. This is by far the greatest superpower.