I Enjoy the Odd Glass of Cranberry Juice

It was just another regular night out. I was with all of my friends in our favourite pub, sitting around having a great laugh. At one point I threw a Rolo at the ceiling and had one of the bar staff come over and give out to us as I hid the Rolo in my hand, pretending nothing had happened. We all had a great laugh about it and were planning to leave location A in favour of location B, which was to remain open longer. First I had to go upstairs.

Four flights up and I needed to get back down. There was a lift but I didn’t feel like using it, so I just walked back down the stairs. When I reached the first floor I noticed the lift looked different, bigger somehow. I hopped in and it went down – a long way down. It was the lift of Zeus, who was a buddy of Thor. I had entered the underground and decided to look around for a bit before heading back to my friends.

I wandered far and wide. The place was huge. I passed many different outlets and places of interest and time seemed to lose all meaning. I wandered over to the Asgard transportation place. I didn’t know if it could put me anywhere or just back outside, but I went up nevertheless. Unfortunately it cost too much – I had the money, but felt it was too expensive for a simple matter transportation. I headed into Penny’s and found an exit.

I was disorientated for a moment, not knowing where I had come out. I turned left and wandered up the road. After a while of wading through the thick air I realised I was heading into the mountains, well out of the city. I was in a little village next to a river. I needed to get back into town to meet my friends. I waded back through the now thicker air slowly. Once back outside Penny’s I met George W Bush and two of his secret service agents.

We looked back inside the shop but didn’t go in. President Bush pointed out that everyone in there was a man. We decided not to go in and instead were going to use the roads to make our way back into town. As we moseyed down the road George decided to cross the river on the bridge. He went to the far riverbank and crawled up the cliff face. His secret service agents made fun of his antics. George jumped into the river.

Suddenly I was alone and by the docks. The river estuary was shallow but quite wide. There were no boats around. I was at the terminus of the river bus service. I was looking for a Guinness related restaurant and needed to go down into the river for it. I climbed down a ladder and walked swiftly through the waist deep water, my MP3 player somehow remaining undamaged. I placed a plastic bottle at the border of the two rivers, which until now I believed to be one river.

Water started to squirt from a hole in the bottle. I was filled with fear. I didn’t know where to go or what to do. The water rose to my neck. Time passed. I don’t know how much, but some arbitrary amount passed as I tried to keep my face above the water. A couple of American tourists arrived. I was pulled under the water but was able to get back up and ask them for directions. They pointed to a large black, metal structure to my left.

I entered the tunnel and walked for a while. I found myself in the train station. I’d been here before. The elaborate land seemed so familiar to me. The stairs. The mountain village. The river bus service. The train station. But it was all connected differently at any given moment. Distance was meaningless. I was getting sick of it. It took too damned long to get anywhere when you wanted to. I just jumped in front of an oncoming train instead. Gave the commuters something to tell their family when they got home.