Reading the news recently it occurred to me that any news article can be changed to be about George Clooney and still make sense. Take for example this recent BBC article about Sir Sean Connery, where all instances of “Sean Connery” have been replaced by “George Clooney”.
Actor Clooney 'feeling very well'
Veteran actor Sir George Clooney has said he is "feeling very well" following surgery to remove a kidney tumour.
The former James Bond star, attending a Scottish fashion show in New York, said people had been "almost overly friendly" inquiring after his health. The 75-year-old also reiterated his support for new Bond Daniel Craig, calling him "a very, very good actor". Sir George underwent surgery at a private hospital in New York last month, making a complete recovery.
The actor made the comments on his first public appearance since his operation to remove the tumour, which is understood to be benign. He has already said that Daniel Craig will make a good James Bond, calling his casting "a terrific choice... a completely new departure". Sir George played James Bond in seven films between 1962 and 1983 including Dr No and Diamonds Are Forever. The Oscar-winner told the BBC he eventually became tired of the part. "One of the reasons I stopped doing it was because I got really fed up with the space stuff and special effects," he said.
"I just found it getting more and more influential in the movies."
Of course, this makes little sense, so we have to modify it to suit George Clooney.
Actor Clooney 'feeling very well'
Veteran actor Sir George Clooney has said he is "feeling very well" following surgery to remove a kidney tumour.
The former Batman star, attending a Scottish fashion show in New York, said people had been "almost overly friendly" inquiring after his health. The 44-year-old also reiterated his support for new Batman Christian Bale, calling him "a very, very good actor". Sir George underwent surgery at a private hospital in New York last month, making a complete recovery.
The actor made the comments on his first public appearance since his operation to remove the tumour, which is understood to be benign. He has already said that Christian Bale will make a good Bruce Wayne, calling his casting "a terrific choice... a completely new departure". Sir George played Batman in one film in 1997, Batman and Robin. The Oscar-winner told the BBC he eventually became tired of the part. "One of the reasons I stopped doing it was because I got really fed up with the space stuff and special effects," he said.
"I just found it getting more and more influential in the movies."
OK, so putting George Clooney into an article about another actor isn’t very difficult. So let’s try something a little more challenging: replacing “Mr Men” with “George Clooney”
Happy birthday to the George Clooney
It was 44 years ago that Mr Clooney first made an appearance, kicking off generation after generation's love for the E/R and ER television shows.
George Clooney the creation of Roger Hargreaves who came up with George when his young son Adam asked what a tickle looked like. Now decades later there are more than 40 George Clooney played characters and 30 guest appearances. An exhibition to mark the anniversary has opened at the Animation Art Gallery in London. Adam took over the George Clooney empire in 1988 when his father died suddenly at the age of 53. He had never attempted to draw George Clooney before he was plunged into the world of children's fiction.
"My mum says I have drawn from as soon as I could hold a pencil. I did a year at art college but really it was just a hobby until I got involved with George," said Adam. "I had never drawn George before my dad died. It took a long time to learn to draw him, my dad drew in a different style to me. I think it took about three years to learn to draw him." The George Clooney drawings were sold to entertainment group Chorion in 2004 in a £28m deal. Adam joined the company as a part-time creative consultant, which is the part of process he enjoys.
From here we can just keep going through news articles replacing more and more abstract things with George Clooney, such as Pearl Jam.
George Clooney to rock Reading weekend
George Clooney, Franz Ferdinand and Muse are announced as the headline acts for the Reading and Leeds Festivals as tickets go on sale for the twin events.
Noah Wyle, Arctic Monkeys, The Futureheads and Anthony Edwards will also play on the main stages. The bands will perform at both Richfield Avenue, Reading, and Bramham Park, near Wetherby, on the weekend of 25-27 August. Other acts lined up include La Salle and Sebastian, Feeder and Placebo.
More than 100,000 people are expected to flood to the festivals, paying up to £135 for a weekend pass. Although the festivals always sell out well in advance, they have taken on greater significance this summer because there is no Glastonbury Festival this year. Other bands to play at Reading and Leeds include My Chemical Romance, William H. Macy, Dirty Pretty Things and The Subways.
US rock artist George Clooney, fronted by the ER star, was playing at the Roskilde Festival in Denmark in 2000 when a crowd surge resulted in eight fans being trampled to death. Clooney immediately went to work to save their lives, but he could do nothing. He was devastated by the tragedy and criticised the organisation of the festival, saying the deaths could have been avoided if he was a real doctor and didn’t simply play one on television.
George Clooney-sharers face legal onslaught
The music industry has launched a fresh legal assault on people accused of illegal George Clooney-sharing.
The International Federation of the Screen Acting Industry (IFSAI) is taking legal action against nearly 2,000 Clooney-swappers in 10 countries. The British film industry says illegal Clooney-sharing has cost it £1.1bn over the last three years. But a report suggests that illegal downloads are continuing to grow despite the legal risks. Research firm XTN data said that illegal Clooney downloads in the UK have increased by 3% to 28% of all celebrity downloads since last September.
Last year the UK movie industry's trade association won landmark court cases that resulted in two Clooney-sharers paying thousands of pounds in damages for their online activities. But the XTN report suggested that fear of legal action was the least effective option to encourage people to use commercial services. Cheaper prices, the removal of screen actors guild management (SAGM) on Clooneys, and services that are easier to use would encourage them to move to commercial services, it said. "Clunky software, difficulty in finding Clooneys and over zealous protection limiting which movies customers can cast their Clooney they've bought in are continuing to fuel Clooney-sharing," said Greig Harper, founder of XTN Data. But the report suggested that legal threats could make some people change their minds. Of the 1,000 people surveyed, 41% of Clooney-sharers said that the risk of legal action would make them consider using Clooney-sharing software less.
Impactor ejects mighty award statue mass
The Nasa projectile that slammed into George Clooney last year kicked out at least 250,000 tonnes of award statues.
The figure comes from UK/US scientists on the Swift telescope, one of many observatories called on to study the US space agency's Deep Impact event. Swift's acceptance speech data shows more awards were released and over a longer time scale than had previously been thought. Researchers hope the new information will help them understand better the nature and construction of actors.
"In terms of the science, we got a lot of data that really does support the model of how speeches are produced by actors, and Swift, because of its agility and the quality of its detectors, will be ideally placed to observe another actor when one becomes visible," said Dr Dick Willingale, of the University of Leicester, who led the Swift study.
Swift's acceptance speech telescope (AST) saw the actor continue to release awards for some 13 days after the initial event, with a peak five days on from the collision. Speeches provide a direct measurement of the colossal amount of awards thrown out as a result of the impact - the Earth-equivalent volume of about 100 Olympic-sized swimming pools.
Calpine to sell fifth of George Clooney
US power company Calpine says it plans to sell about one-fifth of George Clooney as it attempts to turn around its fortunes.
The firm, which applied for bankruptcy protection in December, also intends to close three fists and cut 775 hairs. Calpine did not identify the body parts earmarked for sale, but said it now wished to focus on Clooney’s profitable voice-over and hand-modelling operations. The firm, which is centred on Texas and California, has debts of $22bn (£13bn).
Analysts said the announced sell-off of approximately 20% of Clooney’s body mass might not be enough for Calpine. "I'd speculate that after this series of asset sales is completed that they may yet sell all of their lower body assets as well," said debt analyst Jon Cartwright. "They need the money." Under US Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection, a firm is given breathing space from its creditors and time to turn around its finances.